re discoveri (please click on the links)

i have some things to mention that are in my mind this eve, but i feel as though i would much rather talk about my new rediscovery. I have often found myself going back to musicians for whatever reason at different points in my life. it just seems that i get really tired of things after awhile, or maybe its just because i listen to it so so much when i first discover it that i create some kind of immunity in my ears or something.
well, my grandmother's death was very difficult for me, yes it has been two years, about two years since she has passed....i still think about her at least once every day. when she was eventually gone, there was this loneliness that crept through me, not only because i missed her, but because i missed the person i was when she was around. i had lost her....and me too i guess.
i found it easier to mourn her every time i listened to antony and the johnsons...it was like all of the sadness that i felt about her was slowly drained out of me in every shrill note that came from his rosy mouth. i have always been a keen admirer of antony, i had first heard his voice on a mix cd that was made for me, then later on a compilation called golden apples of the sun which consisted of devendra's elite. i immediately ran out to buy "i am a bird now" and as i was completely immersed in it, i failed to realize the self titled album from 2000. this album has gotten me through my grieving process and continues to make me think of my grandmother every time i hear it. music evokes emotion in all of us, antony just seems to do this for me.
awhile back i saw antony and the johnsons in montreal. he played with coco rosie. coco rosie was amazing, if you are ever looking for a show with the TRUE experience, go and see them. i enjoyed myself, and i felt light, when antony began to pound the keys of his piano effortlessly i realized tears were streaming down my face.
i was comforted by a shorter man standing next to me crying as well. he put his arm around me and we cried together......somehow, i was comforted by a stranger with a french accent that night.